A Negative Split

April 7, 2024

By Nicole


You may already know this, but I had a birthday recently. The interesting thing about being on the other side of the big 4-0 is that you are now officially living the 2nd half of your life. Society and biblical culture mark 80 years old as the average age for most folks to live (Psalm 90:10). Of course, this number fluctuates from person to person, but I think the Creator desires that we all live a good 80 years on this earth. If we don’t, I think that results from other variables outside of His original intent. But let me not get too deep. So, now that I’m officially in the 2nd half of my life, I can see some occurrences happening again that I’ve already been through.

Take my ankle, for example. Remember how a few years ago I went through this whole ordeal with injuring my ankle? Well, guess what? I’ve injured the other one, SMH. But this time, instead of bopping around, taking road trips, driving, working out, and doing vendor tables, which all transformed a few week’s injury into nearly a year, I’m sitting my butt down and icing daily. Now, I admit, I did wear heels on my b day, SMH. And trust me, I paid for it! I simply underestimated the level of the sprain. Now I know. But my initial injury shows me that the benefit to having lived so much life and gone through certain things is that you can learn from them. You don’t have to make the same mistakes twice. I will be healed in the next few weeks!

I was telling a friend recently that having lived a surrendered life at a young age benefits you in acquiring wisdom.

I was 19 when I decided to surrender and follow the Holy Spirit’s lead in my life. Over and over, I chose to do things His way and not my own. As a typical know-it-all, hard-headed-Aries, that was tough for me. You don’t tell me, I tell you. Well, that path of surrender cultivated the mess of me. It rooted out pride, ego, and selfishness. It humbled, matured, and evolved me. I am not the person I used to be. 

“It’s like night and day,” one of my loved ones who knew me back then said. It was truly a compliment, and I felt honored that the Father had chosen to do such a work in my life that was evident to those around me. I can’t say that I would ever go through that process again, and I am still in it, but I’m thankful for the fruit of it!

It is on this side that I can also see some other things coming back around. They are similar to some things I witnessed in the first half of my life journey, but they are better. More whole. More mature. More evolved. They are the redemption of what I saw before. I recognize that these things are a reflection of my own wholeness and maturity that have been crafted and beaten into me by the hand of my Maker. Like every Potter, He forms and molds the clay to become exactly what was in His mind’s eye before He even started working (Isaiah 64:8).

Can you relate? Can you see the elevation of “you” in each passing year? Month? Day?

Sometimes, change takes time. Share on X

Sometimes, we are in a season that is so long, we don’t feel like we are moving one bit. 

I recently grew frustrated with someone who moves a lot slower than me. In hindsight, I realized that what I viewed as no movement was actually movement for them. What I considered to be an inch was, for them, a mile.

Sometimes, it is about perception. We can miss our own growth, especially when we compare ourselves to others. The comparison should always be between us and us. Our starting line could be someone else’s finish line and vice versa. It took me years to learn that. I still have to tell myself that one.

I attended the International Film Festival last night. I got to witness a world premier showing for a documentary about legendary track star Butch Reynolds. Honestly, I was not familiar with how great this man was and is. I was a youngin’ when he was an Olympic track star, and though the name sounds familiar, I couldn’t have told you a lick of what he was known for. Maybe that’s a good thing because he went through so many hardships that perhaps the narrative of the person relaying to me who he was would have been negative. I’m glad I got to learn the truth. Though he was accused of steroid usage during his career and is still fighting for justice, the accusation was miscellaneous. He was falsely accused.

One of the things that stood out to me in the retelling of his story was that he ran a “negative split” in one of his races. A negative split is when you run the 2nd half of your race faster than the first. I knew that word was for me! I have been running my spiritual race for over 20 years. I have grown weary. Even more recently, I have felt overwhelmingly weary from the race. And yet, here Butch Reynolds was, a picture of a supernatural occurrence, that we can gain strength even in the 2nd half. We can have our strength renewed. This word is in line with what Holy Spirit is showing me about my own life. I have had a great comeback. My faith has been renewed, but it has been a supernatural occurrence.

Do you need your faith renewed?

Are you tired and beaten down by the obstacles of life? Over and over, Butch went through trial after trial, and yet he endured. It is only when we withstand the storms of life that we have a testimony. And the greater the storm, the greater the testimony.

Special shout out to my girl Alysha for hooking me up on my b day with International Film Festival tickets! 

In other news…Did you know that I just dropped my debut novel When Love Wins? You can check out more here! This time around there is an audiobook in addition to the eBook and paperback versions. Make sure you are subscribed to my email list to catch special offers, discounts, insider information, and more!

Are you on Instagram/Facebook? If so, please reach out. I have a series called “Word of the Day Wednesdays” where I share 5-10 minutes worth of nuggets that are on my heart, which I hope are encouraging to others on IGTV/FB Live! I have these also posted on my Youtube Channel.

And, lastly, if you have read “Stories for the (Urban) Soul, please put up an Amazon review here. I was SUPER encouraged and blessed when a new reader put up her review for my 2nd book which you can view here :).

As always, thank you for your support!


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