Body Talk

January 30, 2023

By Nicole


These days I’m taking it slow. It feels strange because I have to be intentional about it. There are lots of downtimes and tv binging. I’m catching up on shows I missed out on years ago. But I tell myself, be gentle.

Being gentle can often be a struggle for people who identify as achievers. We can easily fall into self-talk that’s rough around the edges. Harsh, both in tone and verbiage.

I know in times past, I’ve been this way. More particularly, I’ve been this way with my body.

Growing up, I constantly struggled with my weight, finally finding a happy place in my early 30s when my spiritual mother taught me how to eat healthily and the Holy Spirit gave me self-control.

My past is laced with distorted body image and self-harm in the form of eating disorders. Like most teens, I compared myself with my peers and celebrities who looked nothing like me. It took me a long time to be comfortable in the body God had given me.

Interestingly enough, despite my accumulated confidence, a slew of insecurities surfaced after my mom passed. I had no idea how having someone consistently affirm you affects you when they are no longer there to affirm. Now I know.

So recently, I was crushed when someone made an insulting comment about a part of my body I’m insecure about. My thoughts flew madly about my mind in shocked-hurt. Their words cut into the fragility of my self perception. What made it worse was that I was paying them to perform a service that required my physical vulnerability.

It took me a few days to process. I understood that their comment had more to do with them and less with me, as is often the case.

When people belittle you, it’s because they feel belittled internally. Share on X

The honest truth is I’m in better shape than the person who made the comment, but because they hit a nerve, it was hard to see at that moment.

It has been a month since I started detoxing. I’m detoxing physically, emotionally, and mentally. When I started to remove the toxins, I knew that in doing so, I would need to be patient with myself.

In the past, I have “gone hard” to lose weight and tone up, but in this season, I know I am to love my body in all its stages. Be gentle with it. Speak kindly to it.

Especially when others have spoken so negatively.

Do you speak kindly to yourself? Do you make sure to love yourself in all your stages? In what ways do you make sure to be “good” to you?

In other news, did you know that I just dropped the pre-sale for my debut novel When Love Wins? You can check out more here! This time around there is an audiobook in addition to the eBook and paperback versions. Make sure you are subscribed to my email list to catch special offers, discounts, insider information, and more!

Are you on Instagram/Facebook? If so, please reach out. I have a series called “Word of the Day Wednesdays” where I share 5-10 minutes worth of nuggets that are on my heart, which I hope are encouraging to others on IGTV/FB Live! I have these also posted on my Youtube Channel.

And, lastly, if you have read “Stories for the (Urban) Soul, please put up an Amazon review here. I was SUPER encouraged and blessed when a new reader put up her review for my 2nd book which you can view here :).

As always, thank you for your support!


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