Ever have a person, or more than one person, decide you weren’t of value? I think most people have had that experience. We jump up and down, arms raised, screaming at the top of our lungs, “Hey you! Know my value! Know my worth!” and yet said person keeps on going about their normal way of mistreating us. But I mean, is it really their fault?
Aren’t we the ones who let them?
In my experience this happenstance has occurred a number of times with men. Men who only view a woman through the lens of, “What can she do for me?” and, “Hmmm. I wonder how can I use her”? Then, when they’re done with their using, they toss her aside like a dishrag on the kitchen counter: wrung out and caked with old, slimy food particles.
I’m thankful that my experience being a dishrag has been minimal. I’ve ducked and dodged a number of users/abusers/crafty dishwashers. Even when I’ve full on lunged myself at their manipulative tendencies, the Holy Spirit’s intervention has been as quick as BJ scurrying away from me.
But even with God’s GRACE, I’ve still gotten dirty.
I’m convinced the core issue is us though. It’s us who overly esteem others higher than ourselves and it’s us who minimize what we bring to the table. I’ve had a reoccurring issue with rejection and it always comes back to my thinking too lowly of myself. More recently I had to tell myself, “Nicole. You’re an amazing person. A great friend. If that person doesn’t want to be in your life, it really is their loss.” I think we all should take our cue from David and have a good pep talk with ourselves once in a while. (1 Samuel 30:6)
I was in a situation more recently where the person kept trying to use me. When they did things for me, they made it seem like they were doing these things out of the kindness of their heart, but in truth, they were just trying to make it appear as if the relationship was reciprocal. Their whole plan was to ultimately use my gifts to promote themselves. I escaped that situation with a few cuts and bruises but nothing I couldn’t quickly heal from. And I learned A LOT. I learned that not everyone out here is as caring as I am. I learned people can wear masks because they lack the sincerity of servanthood and selflessness that I’ve been fortunate to acquire on my faith journey. And most importantly, I learned that you can be genuine with someone, but they’re being calculated with you the whole time.
I saw a meme that I feel like sums up the reality nicely when you walk away from such a person though:
When someone loses you because they were trying to finesse you, well, they have only finessed themselves out of having any contact with you.
I hope you find yourself as valuable as God does. Because never would He manipulate, misuse, abuse, or dishrag towel you. In fact, He gave you freewill, just to show how much He values your voice and your choice.
Let’s try and practice that same energy when it comes to viewing ourselves.
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