Stay in Your Lane

July 18, 2022

By Nicole


Can I tell you a secret? I find myself comparing these days in the hustle and grind of building. I’m surrounded with hustlers and grinders building and with the fun friend of social media, everyone’s buildings seem to be on display. Some are large, vast buildings with followers and likes in the tens of thousands (or even hundreds of thousands!) while others, like myself, flounder in lower figures. I get upset often when I feel like I’m floundering.

The thing is, I had a goal last year when I became intentional to increase my following. I started out in 2017 with purpose, opening my account to bring promo to my books. The interesting thing is, while I didn’t “blow up” the way I expected, I did get a lot of follows on one of my pages from a simple ad I posted for one week. I grew in 2500 followers from that one ad. WOW.

Then, when Urban Stories came out, I went back at it and set a new goal for myself. I would study my follow count religiously, until one day, one of the media platforms restricted me. Apparently I had broken some unknown rules and found myself unable to use my account for three whole months.

Do you know how limiting that is for an entrepreneur using social media to build her brand? Extremely.

At the same time, I was dealing with an injury that hindered my ability to take care of myself and my home. I grew depressed and my mental health took a nose dive.

But you know what? I ended up opening a new page in the midst of my restricted access and now that page is my new publishing house page.

And you know what else? I healed from that injury after meeting some very nice people with a machine that sped up my healing process (won’t He do it!)

I have continued to grow my followers in the midst of these challenges. 

I have to remind myself of these facts when comparing, because as we know, everyone’s journey is different. Sometimes we’re not privy to certain challenges or life experiences that play out behind the scenes of someone’s success (or someone’s social media page). We only see the followers, but we don’t know the ones who unfollowed. Or the storms they dealt with in their personal life. Or the ways they needed to sacrifice in order to obtain the platform.

“Stay in your lane, Nicole”. That’s what I tell myself when I catch myself looking at someone else’s growth or expansion. I have to remember that I am not comparing myself with them, I am comparing myself with me.

[Tweet “When we look back and see our starting point, we can see how far we’ve come.”]

Yes we have our goals and we are always desiring to “get there”, but let’s look at where we are NOW. And enjoy the drive.

For a go-getter like me, that is not an easy task, and maybe you can relate. I need to be intentional to sit down and meditate. I need to be purposeful to rest and think on the good because I am usually always plotting and shooting for the next thing.

Since recovering from my ankle injury, I have had severe back pain. I hardly discuss it because it just seems to be this constant thing that I’ll just need to “muscle through”. I have tried a few remedies but more recently feel led to do yoga. As soon as I did my first bout of it yesterday, I knew God was saying, “Yes, I want you to slow down. In slowing down you will heal.”

I honestly had tried yoga before and it was recommended by a doctor I had seen, but because I prefer to be moving and shaking I gave up on it fairly quickly. I normally find myself at the gym, or at a step class for my workouts, but just yesterday on a podcast I was listening to, the speaker said that he suffered from severe lower back pain. He used yoga and it healed him. Welp, I def don’t need to be told twice! Or actually, three times, LOL.

When I slowed down yesterday and did the stretches, I realized that there is peace in the quiet and there is revelation in rest.

Let’s be intentional to slow down, take in the scenery and navigate this journey with more thankfulness. I think that when we move slower, we will be more apt to stay in our own lanes.

In other news, did you know that I have a monthly newsletter? You can email me if you would like to receive it, or sign up on my website! I share all of my updates on events I am selling books at and the latest happenings in authorship! You can also view the latest newsletter on my linktree.

Are you on Instagram/Facebook? If so, please reach out! I have started a series called “Word of the Day Wednesdays” where I share 5-10 minutes worth of nuggets that are on my heart, which I hope are encouraging to others on IGTV/FB Live! I have these also posted on my Youtube channel.

Have you read “Stories for the Urban Soul” and are eager to dialogue about your favorite characters, lessons learned, and so much more? Well, now you can download 20 Dialogue questions available on my website to discuss with your friends! Just enter your email in the pop up box and its there!

If you have read “Stories for the (Urban) Soul, please put up an Amazon review here! I was SUPER encouraged and blessed when a new reader put up her review for my 2nd book which you can view here :).

Did you know I have a FREE preview of my book? You can learn more by downloading here. Scroll all the way down and you will see the eBook Version of the book depicted.

As always thank you for your support!


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