I was sitting in the waiting room, preparing for the worse. Tears were already on the scene, as I talked to my BFF about the hardships of the past, and now the present. How was I going to navigate these next two months of recovering from surgery? How will I fare mentally? I barely made it through the last season without losing my mind (think, single woman, living alone during a Pandemic, recovering from grief). In addition to these thoughts, I couldn’t help but remember the trauma of another season where I was tested and tried. Without knowing it, I was projecting that past season onto the now.
Have you been there? I hadn’t even realized I was doing this until my friend mentioned how we sometimes think about things we went through in the past, and how we can be experiencing the pain of them all over again. It was in that moment that I realized, I was doing just that. I also realized that there was no need for me to be “tested” on the level that I had previously been tested in before, because I was not where I was back then in regards to maturity, wisdom and character growth. I had already passed that test! My friend said all these things and more, and it was like, even though she was hundreds of miles away, she was right there with me in that waiting room.
That is the power of friendship. We can be miles apart, but our hearts are still closely knitted together.
I went into my doctor’s visit a little calmer then, but still with the expectation of surgery. After all, I was about to see an actual Surgeon! Surely that is what he is going to recommend. Additionally, that is what my doctor had said would be needed, so that is what I had come to believe. Even though in the beginning, if you remember, I was anti-surgery. I figured, why do I need surgery when I know The Healer??? So, I had everyone praying against surgery. I myself was praying against surgery. But then, at some point, in between the pain not diminishing, and especially when my doctors said the ligaments and things were torn in my foot, my belief system changed.
I sat inside the doctor’s room, waiting. The nurse had been very nice and so far my experience was pleasant, (other than the 45-minute wait). But even the wait wasn’t so bad because I knew the secretary had slipped me in, and I technically should have been scheduled two weeks out.
Finally, the well-accredited surgeon, who was one of the best in his field (told to me from several sources) was standing in front of me as he proceeded to tell me over and over again that I did not need surgery. Huh? What are you talking about, sir? He showed me the atrophy that had occurred by me not being mobile and explained (very kindly I might add) that I had done more damage by using the crutches.
I was confused and a little bewildered, as I kept that man in that room for a good 35 minutes (bless his soul) because even though the evidence was there (my now much smaller leg) I had solidified in my mind that I would need surgery.
What ended up happening, was that Dr. So and So, finally convinced me that I needed to be rebuilding my calf muscle, and we would go from there. “You are going to get up and walk out of here,” he said very firmly.
What? I’m able to walk? I should be walking? This was news to me! I had been hobbling, rolling, hopping and even crawling around for the last 6 weeks, but no walking. I had been doing everything BUT walking! Now, I can just walk?! As I stood to my feet with said doctor’s intern by my side, I made my way, very slowly, very cautiously, out the door. It was definitely a feat, and I felt very much like a baby learning to walk all over again, but the greatest impact upon hearing this news, was my mindset. I was so in awe that the report I received was the opposite of what I had been expecting! I had been preparing myself for the worst case scenario, and here I was, being told by an expert in his field, that I should not just be walking, but driving and working out! Now, all of this is within reason of course. I should still be wearing my boot and a brace, but he explained to me that my ankle just needs to be protected as I perform these activities. I realized that in my urgency to heal myself I jumped the gun and went to the other extreme of things. Sigh.
Though I am still in recovery, I have received confirmation that I am on the path of healing naturally. I am reminded through this experience, that Jesus is in the business of healing.
The man who was lame for 38 years by the pool of Bathesda knows what I’m talking about (see John 5:6-9). He was thinking his healing needed to come by being dipped into that pool by another, because that is how it had always been done. Imagine the pain and frustration that poor man felt, when every time, he tried to slide, shift, roll and lift himself into that pool, only for somebody else who was more able-bodied, to come before him? Oh it breaks my heart just thinking about it! Yet, Christ had mercy on him! That man learned something new that day when he met Yeshua. He learned that God heals however, whenever, and whomever He wants. All we need to do is believe.
Thank you for staying on this journey with me, and I will be sure to update you of the outcome!
In other news, did you know that I have a monthly newsletter? You can email me if you would like to receive it, or sign up on my website! Just click on “Blog”, go to any blog post, then scroll down until you see “Join Our Newsletter”! I share all of my updates on events I am selling books at and the latest happenings in authorship! You can also view the latest newsletter on my linktree.
Are you on Instagram/Facebook? If so, please reach out! I have started a series called “Word of the Day Wednesdays” where I share 5-10 minutes worth of nuggets that are on my heart, which I hope are encouraging to others on IGTV/FB Live! I have these also posted on my Youtube channel.
Have you read “Stories for the Urban Soul” and are eager to dialogue about your favorite characters, lessons learned, and so much more? Well, now you can download 20 Dialogue questions available on my website to discuss with your friends! Just enter your email in the pop up box and its there!
If you have read “Stories for the (Urban) Soul, please put up an Amazon review here! I was SUPER encouraged and blessed when a new reader put up her review for my 2nd book which you can view here :).
Did you know I have a FREE preview of my book? You can learn more by downloading here. Scroll all the way down and you will see the Kindle Version of the book depicted.
This month, every Monday in October, I will be hosting a series on IGTV/FB Live called “Meet the Characters” where I will break down each character from “Urban Stories” and what went into writing their story. This synopsis will piggyback off of the segment at the end of “Stories for the (Urban) Soul” called “Lessons from the Characters”. I would love for you to join! You can also subscribe to my newsletter and be put on my email list where a zoom link for these meetings will be sent! See below for details: