Stepping out on faith is never easy. I don’t care who you are and how many times you’ve done it, its rarely ever a “cake walk”. Which makes me think about my experience with running. I’ve been running off and on for nearly 15 years now. I have done several distance runs and even did a half marathon at one point! I’ve ran in the rain, I’ve ran in the snow, I’ve ran up hills, and still, I can say, it’s never easy! My breathing gets labored and I have to focus with all my might to control it. My arms and legs feel heavy so I target my mindset to pump them harder. My body is screaming at me to “Stop!”, and yet my mind screams louder “No!” That is what happens each and every time I run. And that is what happens each and every time I step out on faith.
God knows this, and similar to how running develops our physical muscles, I think He uses things in our lives to develop our “faith” muscles. Like when He asked me to start this business. I was like “Umm, no thank you, Sir”. But then, I did it anyway. Or, that one time He asked me to lay down the relationship that meant so much to me. I remember being on my face in my dorm room and crying in agony “Don’t take him from me!” referring to my then fiancé/slash boyfriend of 3 years. But God took him anyways. It took me years to understand why He did.
We go through these various experiences in life where God is calling us higher because He wants us to develop into the person He sees us as, and not necessarily who others see us as, or who we see ourselves as. I look back at my journey and realize that my own view of myself was either inflated, or underdeveloped. Regarding the call into entrepreneurship and Accounting, it has definitely been the latter. Because of my history of struggling in undergrad, I could not believe when God called me to get my MBA in Accounting. “Who, me, Jesus? The one who barely graduated with a C-average in Accounting and Finance? You want me to do what now?” All the while giving Him the side eye… But then I did it. And received a 3.8 GPA in grad school. Go figure.
Now, as I step out on the word in my heart to expand my business, I struggle once again with the perception of myself. “But I’m small Lord. But I’m not like them Lord. But I’m….fill in the blank”. And my thought process reminds me of a group of people a long time ago who God told to step out on faith and fight for the land of Canaan that He had promised them, but in response, they hit him with the, “Oh, no God. You are trippin’!” Except, of course, they didn’t say it that way. Instead, they said, “The land through which we have gone as spies is a land that devours its inhabitants and all the people whom we saw in it are men of great stature. There we saw giants, and we were like grasshoppers in our own sight…”(Number 13:32-33).
Have you ever felt like a grasshopper? Your circumstances, your calling, your unction in your gut, feels much bigger than anything you can possibly fathom? I know I have. And over and over I keep feeling the Holy Spirit show me that these people I esteem and am often intimidated by, are just “people with platforms”.
It is so vital that we see ourselves the way our Creator does. When reading the story of the Israelites who listened to fear and insecurity over the promise of Elohim, I was shocked at the consequence. They missed out on their blessing, and not only did they miss out, but their own children missed out. Sadly, the next generation was also affected by their lack of belief.
Who can be affected by yours?
Over and over the message of royalty also keeps coming to me. I am being reminded that as an African American woman I come from a long line of Kings and Queens and as a Believer in Christ I am called the “Royal Priesthood”. Royalty is in my bloodline.
Royalty is in yours.
Though the task at hand may be great, though we may overly focus on our flaws and not on our faith, the truth is, we were made for the call. We were made to conquer the land. We are anything but grasshoppers.
Instead, we are overcomers. I know this because, similar to my experience with running, even though the terrain can be rough, and the race can be long, I end up finishing.